It took me long enough to decide to blog. Not saying that my friends are not good or patient enough. I just need a place to talk. I dont feel like listening to any comments, any recommendations, or any kind of interpretations. Not being stubborn, just wanna calm down
These few days haven't been good for me. All my strength has been used to fight the urge in my heart. In my head, I know some things wouldn't change no matter how much I do or wish but my heart screams out another possibility. I'm just plain tired, from the tug of war. If I have a choice, I will shut my brain and heart for a few months. I don't wanna think logically or emotionally or whatever you can think of. Simply, I wanna malfunction temporarily. Though I already know what decision Im going to make, I just wanna give it a last try. To believe what I have always been believing. You. I wouldnt deny that I was disappointed. I'm disappointed when you doesn't pay attention to what I'm thinking. I cried when you make me feel like a toy. I know you wouldnt care, truly care. You said you dont mean it but you still did it. Your promise gave me a hint of hope to trust. but how am I suppose to continue when im all alone in the end. I understand you have your life. You like what you are having now. And I dont mean to interrupt or destroy it. I will leave slowly, without any notice. I know you may not need my support but I will also be there to give you the blessing of happiness. I will be happy. And I will find that special someone. I hope you will too.
Trust is like a double edged sword. Either it give u happiness or it brings you saddness Belief is like a plaster. You know there's a wound but you cover it up and hope time will make it perfect once again.
